The Chloe Grace Moretz butt posts were fun. It was a simpler time. This story doesn’t involve butts. I wish it did. It involves a dude on a skateboard offering Chloe Grace Moretz cookies then having the cops called on him.
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the “Neighbors 2” star had an uninvited guest roll up to her home on a skateboard with a container full of treats. We’re told Chloe was inside but didn’t answer. The guy asked a neighbor if this was Chloe’s home, and the neighbor started grilling the guy. Cops say Moretz called the cops and reported the guy, who looked about 18. The cops never got to speak with the guy because he made a hasty retreat. LAPD’s threat management is now on this case.
It’s 2017, so it might be one of these white terrorists I keep hearing so much about. They travel on skateboards apparently. I just assumed we all knew we had a better chance to get killed by a white person in America than we did a Muslim immigrant. We should also assume if we went to Jurassic Park that we’d have a better chance to get killed by a velociraptor than a Muslim immigrant, because that’s where the velociraptors are. The only difference is, velociraptors didn’t hear what happened in the Jurassic Park movies then plant bombs where Sam Neil lives. I’d really like to know what kind of cookies this guy brought before we label him a terrorist though.