If you’re on Tinder, chances are better than even that your standards are either low or you’re a first time downloader, swiping around to see what all the fuss is about. If you fall into the first category, congrats! You are right where you belong: smack dab in the middle of an ocean full of fish looking to get boinked and hoping that you won’t notice they’ve put on 100 lbs. since their most recent profile photo. If you’re a first time downloader, well…turn back now. The only things that await you are STDs, rejection and lies. Like, out of the ten doctors I matched with, seven were actually male nurses, two were pediatricians and one was a surgeon – except by “surgeon” he meant “sandwich surgeon” because his actual gig was working at Subway.
To be fair, my profile says that I enjoy long walks on the beach and sucking dick; I hate getting sand in my shoes. See? Everything is lies and deceit when you’re on the Internet!
And yes, it’s very comfy up here, thanks for asking 🙂
20-year-old Maggie Archer gets it better than most. You see, Maggie has gained a bit of infamy as of late after her Tinder scam went viral. All you have to do is write “Send me $5, see what happens” in your profile…
…then once your match sends you $5, you go right ahead and unmatch them:
It’s brilliant, honestly; shitty, deceitful and cheap, but brilliant. Maggie technically doesn’t owe any of these dupes shit because she never explicitly promised anything, and at the same time if you’re dumb enough to send some random Tinder match $5 it’s not like that money was going to wind up anywhere better – no, lottery tickets are just as much of a waste. Think of Maggie’s scam as your way of donating to the homeless, except Maggie isn’t homeless and the $5 will probably go towards a bottle of vodka instead of food; she is the White Girl™ version of homeless, which equates to having to ask the cashier at Starbucks if your gift card from ten years ago still has any money on it, followed by “There’s only 37 cents? CHARGE IT.”
In just one week Maggie has supposedly received money from over 20 idiots, and claims that 20% of the guys who ask her about her profile send her cash. “Some men get creepy and assume if they offer a lot more, like hundreds, something will actually happen,” Maggie explains, “…which, of course, it doesn’t.”
“It’s really a foolproof plan, because I’m not actually promising anything, I just say ‘see what happens.’”
What do you think – is Maggie an asshole, or are the fools who’ve been departed from their money begging to get conned? Let us know in the comments!