Big game hunter Theunis Botha, age 51, died last week when an elephant that his hunting group shot fell on him.
Now when all of us think of big game hunters, with their hands clutching large state of the art rifles, seated in a helicopter or armor plated jeep, running down terrified, near extinct animals with a nose full of cocaine, a belly full of Chablis and pain killers and eyes, completely empty of any emotion as they mow down entire families not for food, but because they wanted to prove to their rich friends that they’re tough, our first thought is “look at those nice men. I hope nothing bad ever happens to them.”
Theunis Botha, what a nice man.
So to you, this must be a sad and not at all hilarious day to find out that Botha, owner of a safari company and expert leopard hunter was crushed to death by an elephant he and his gang were in the process of killing. “Oh, sweet irony. Why must you take our one true prince!” you most likely screamed when you heard that this man that kills big animals just because he can, had an animal he was in the process of killing obliterate him in the stupidest way possible.
Why couldn’t it have been me!?
The world can be a cruel place, taking from us one of its coolest and not at all douchiest inhabitants as he was hunting a herd of dangerous elephants who were just going to make more dangerous elephants-they were in the middle of breeding! Truly it was heroic of him and his group to gun down three of the elephants before the remaining one charged the group, picked up Botha by his trunk in a last ditch effort to defend itself and then fell on top of him while Botha’s friends filled him with more lead than a fallout shelter.
The list of names of people that died too young is going to grow a little longer today MLK, Gandhi, Lincoln and now, Botha. Don’t cry for him. Now, he’s murdering angels with a high powered rifle in heaven.