Kate Middleton Is Great At Her Job

Kate Middleton


Kate Middleton (I still call her Kate) just dropped her third baby in five years, because why not be a broodmare for the royal family when you get to wear dumb hats and live in a castle? Live your best life, Katie. Also, her mother-in-law would probably tell her what happens when you stop spitting kids out and try to help AIDS victims and such, but she’s dead. Per People:

“Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge was safely delivered of a son at 1101hrs,” the statement said. “The baby weighs 8lbs 7oz. The Duke of Cambridge was present for the birth.” “The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall, Prince Harry and members of both families have been informed and are delighted with the news,” the statement continued. “Her Royal Highness and her child are both doing well.”

Wow, a woman and a man had a baby. That’s wild. Man, London is great. So sophisticated and more progressive than America. Unless you’re gay and don’t like the thrill of potentially being stabbed to death when you walk outside or aren’t super into rampant crime. Other than that, you get to be excited about a newborn who will have every advantage you never will, peasant. Pictures, please!

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