Cover Tweet: @WhitneyCummings
When a week dies, a collection of funniest tweets is born from it for your twisted Twitter-loving pleasure. If you missed last week’s tweets, we highly recommend you not skip your weekly dose of laughs, if nothing else for your health.
Enjoy this heaping pile of hilarity, then scurry off into your weekend, but first, remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. Their blood, sweat and tweets did not come easily, but again, neither did your weekend. Side effects include loss of bladder control, heart palpitations and unplanned crying.
Tweet yourself to these, then follow us @Mandatory on Twitter.
If u got out of bed today, u deserve a pizza!!!!!!!!!!!!!
— Kate Quigley (@KateQFunny) February 22, 2019
Our first 3 episodes desperately want to spend quality time with your ears. pic.twitter.com/LCkLHJF7a0
— Credits Score Podcast (@CreditsScore) February 20, 2019
My entire 20’s was a staged attack on myself tbh
— Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) February 21, 2019
— Christian Nightmares (@ChristnNitemare) February 20, 2019
good morning to everyone but especially the woman in the crosswalk on my way to work who didn’t like that someone honked at her to hurry so she stopped and did a couple jumping jacks
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) February 21, 2019
You misspelled “repaired an existing fence in accordance with plans and budgets from the Obama administration.” https://t.co/rujve7sgfj
— Translate Trump (@TranslateRealDT) February 20, 2019
Just licked coffee off my phone
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 21, 2019
Our attention spans these days are
— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 20, 2019
When you’re done with this (dumps a massive stack of funny photos on desk): Today’s Mandatory Funny Photos
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) February 21, 2019
Yes, I’m Macaulay Culkin. https://t.co/3XELbuokrd
— David Hornsby (@HornsByDavid) February 21, 2019
Seems like a pretty weird life to glibly celebrate when a hate crime or a rape turns out to be a hoax, but you do you!
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) February 21, 2019
Him: I was thinking we could try some role playing tonight
Me: oh yeah?
Him: yeah 😉
Me: only if I can be Wario 😉
— Not Sara (@smithsara79) February 21, 2019
Be honest if Karl Lagerfelds name was spelled Carl you’d respect him way less
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) February 20, 2019
If u can still support this repugnant oaf, while ignoring 17 investigations, 34 indictments, 7 guilty pleas, 9000 lies, child imprisonment, money laundering, racism, misogyny, infidelity, environmental rape, and high treason, you’re not just misinformed… you’re a Sith. pic.twitter.com/RQn1gZe8xA
— Jim Carrey (@JimCarrey) February 21, 2019
— Ozzy Man Reviews (@OzzyManReviews) January 29, 2019
We promise you that listening to Credits Score will be less painful than this. https://t.co/0gDI3oWG4U
— Credits Score Podcast (@CreditsScore) February 21, 2019