By now you’ve probably heard about that Rachel Maddow thing. It wasn’t good. Let’s recap then get to Stephen Colbert taking a shit all over it.
BREAKING: We’ve got Trump tax returns. Tonight, 9pm ET. MSNBC.
— Rachel Maddow MSNBC (@maddow) March 14, 2017
First, this happened. Aww yeah, remember the excitement?! We felt truly alive!
What we’ve got is from 2005… the President’s 1040 form… details to come tonight 9PM ET, MSNBC.
— Rachel Maddow MSNBC (@maddow) March 15, 2017
Wait, no. What? We already have blue balls.
HAVE NONE OF YOU WATCHED THIS WOMAN BEFORE?
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) March 15, 2017
Actually yes, Andy. I have. Why are you yelling? Because if you watch Rachel Maddow, you know that usually 10 minutes in you’re still trying to figure out what her point is, but she did 19 minutes and a commercial break before she turned the paper around. Again, context is cool, but 19 minutes of “OMG DID YOU KNOW TRUMP HAS TIES TO RUSSIA” when you dropped that ratings bait tweet, is just bad form. You can do context after. Not that difficult. She took so long The Daily Beast scoped her own exclusive and the White House released a statement while she was talking about a Russian dude on a yacht.
SORRY A SMART WOMAN TRYING TO GET YOU TO UNDERSTAND AND ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT TRUMP’S FINANCIAL ENTANGLEMENTS IN RUSSIA IS BORING YOU
— Emmy Bengtson (@EmmyA2) March 15, 2017
Trump won cause while an intelligent woman was trying to tell us about Russian ties u complained about her presentation & here we are again
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) March 15, 2017
Yes, I was bored of sexism. She’s a woman who spent 19 minutes giving context that had no relation to her big reveal, and the reason I hated it was because she’s a woman. You caught me. And that’s why Hillary lost, because she’s a woman. Nothing else. It was only that. I bet if Michelle Obama or Oprah would have ran, they would’ve lost 37 states as well. Like, I live in Georgia and I haven’t seen a woman since I moved here. You’re right, it’s sexism.
Anyway, the big reveal was that Trump paid more in taxes than most of Twitter will be pay in their lifetimes, then she spent 40 minutes speculating why he’s not paying more. That’s probably not the look you were going for. And when that realization hit, the “don’t let Rachel Maddow distract from [insert other thing Trump has done]” takes started. Good times. Take it away, Stephen Colbert.