Taylor Swift And Calvin Harris Broke Up

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift reportedly got dumped by Calvin Harris last week after dating for 15 months. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard were married for 15 months. What does it mean? I will not rest until I unravel this conspiracy. 

E! News has confirmed through multiple sources that Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris have broken up after dating for almost a year and a half. “This all happened last week,” a source tells us. “Taylor and Adam had no big blowout fight, but the romance just was not there anymore for them. Adam is the one that ended it. It was all done in a very mature fashion. Taylor is pretty upset but they are still in communication. Taylor was there for Adam with his accident and supportive.”

This is about Taylor Swift, so it’s really hard to tell if this is Calvin’s PR team (“Calvin didn’t hit Taylor like that other guy in the news, but he dumped her because she’s a dead lay. Taylor is a very nice person though. Warmest regards.”) or Taylor’s Sr. Communication And Media Relations Director (“Taylor was not crazy in any way, we want to make perfectly clear, but Calvin was the one who ended it even though Taylor’s presence nursed him back to health after his sketch ass car accident.”) In Calvin’s defense, this is Christmas if you’re dating Taylor Swift. That’s way too far from the inside and way too many clothes for that holiday if you’re under 35.  And that was probably like the 6th take of that picture. And this is happens when you take her to a tropical island. I understand that he’s a DJ and whatnot, but no man deserves that. Get your game face on, Ed Sheeran. It’s your time to shine. Go write something about building a snowman.

#tbt I knew something was up with these butt pads or whatever. Too little too late, I’m afraid. 

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