If all the basic Tumblr bitches on my Facebook newsfeed believe in anything besides horoscopes…
…it’s that LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDS. But sadly, just like your daily horoscope that sounds like it was written by a 13-year-old with a fortune cookie generator, it is a complete lie. If love truly had no boundaries, then no one would’ve batted an eye when Jerry Seinfeld started dating a 17-year-old, or thought it was weird when Woody Allen started dating his teenage adopted step-daughter.
So when I say that 18-year-old Sophie Stonehewer is dating 43-year-old Stephen Beddows, imagine my face contorting like I just huffed a fart straight out of a chocolate starfish. Is it possible to be an incredibly mature 18-year-old? Yes, yes it is! But Sophie is not one of them. Not even close.
A teenage girl dating a man more than twice her age set his house on fire following an argument about their sex life, a court heard.
Sophie Stonehewer, 18, used matches and a candle to ignite a lounge curtain belonging to her 43-year old boyfriend Stephen Beddows while he was in bed.
Stonehewer, who had been drinking wine, then fled to a neighbour’s house and confessed starting the blaze, and later told police ‘He [Mr Beddows] made me do it.’
Mr Beddows jumped out of bed and put the flames out before the fire caused any major damage to his house in Stockport, Greater Manchester. (via)
Most normal guys would go running for the hills if their girlfriend ever intentionally set their house on fire, but not Mr. Beddows – nope, guy is such a white knight in shining armor that Daily Mail reports he even refused to give a statement about the incident to detectives. Maybe it’s because #TrueLove, or maybe it’s because he realizes that if his 18-year-old little thang’ goes to jail he won’t be able to stick his dick into her anymore. Apologies to all the men out there who are 40+ and get regular wet dreams at the idea of dating Kylie Jenner and the rest her age group, but the general assumption upon witnessing you two out in public is that you’re either her dad, sugar dad, or you bought her for $5,000 overseas and keep her locked in your basement until it’s time to put the lotion in the basket.
To the rest of you who don’t fantasize about barely-legal poon: good for you.
Stonehewer, however, admitted to arson in court and was awarded a two-year suspended sentence after the judge took pity on her. “You are 18 years of age and I observe that Mr. Beddows is 43,” Judge Philip Curran told her. “It is obvious that you have led a very troubled life and especially for a very young girl. You are a hugely vulnerable young woman…the fact that you may still be in a relationship with Mr. Beddows may still reflect on you. You are a young woman who, in my mind, needs help.”