Photo: Erve Miozzo / EyeEm (Getty)
With more than enough movies we never wanted that we can shake two thumbs down at, what about all the anticipated movies we were promised that never were released?
Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered on these long-awaited sequels that have yet to see the silver screen. No, we didn’t make the movies, but we are going to remind you about what you lost out on (or lucked out on). Is all hope lost? Never. But pretty close.
The Girl Who Played With Fire
Although the Swedish film was made, the sequel to Steig Larsson’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo didn’t get its “fiery” sequel when they did a US reboot. However, 2018 promises a sequel, The Girl in the Spider’s Web, which is actually the fourth book of the series, published by David Lagercrantz, who stepped in to finish to complete the series after Larsson’s untimely death nearly 15 years ago.
The Reese’s Pieces loving alien created by Spielberg almost saw its sequel to E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, after Spielberg drafted a treatment with the original writer of the film including evil aliens and child torture, one of which we are not alright with.
Not long after, he realized a sequel might diminish the greatness of the original and put the kibosh on the project, much to our gladness.
Tim Burton was hot off back-to-back Batman classics when Warner Bros. hired him. But after Kevin Smith’s script was annihilated by Burton’s production team and Nic Cage tried on the suit, the would-be 1996 comic-book spinoff movie came to crashing halt. Again, to our gladness.
If Anchorman, Zoolander and Daddy’s Home can get long-awaited sequels, a second Step Brothers should be a slam dunk. While 2017 had Will Ferrell and Adam McKay both talking possible plot scenarios, rumor has it the project is currently dead in the water. Give Hollywood a minute to circle back after a few more failed sequels though.
Ridley Scott had plans to resurrect the fallen hero after he met his end in a wheat field, but the Best Picture with Best Actor sequel has repeatedly been stuck in movie mud. While there were talks of a prequel with Maximus in the Roman military and a time-traveling sequel, Ridley Scott even said as recently as 2017 that he’s not completely over it.
Nick Cave’s sequel, Christ Killer, raised a lot of eyebrows and was never made. But never say never. Seriously though, never going to happen. We’re still waiting on that Robin Hood sequel Ridley promised.
My Best Friend’s Birthday
Tarantino’s 1987 film became a short film when the 70-minute black-and-white film was cut in half due to a lab fire. The second half of the film is circulating the internet and has been known to pop up at film festivals once in a strawberry blood red disco moon.
J. Depp acting is usually a good thing, at least until 2002, but seeing his directing debut and finale all in one would have been something. Starring Marlon Brando, the 1997 film was a book adaptation from a Gregory McDonald novel in which Depp wrote, starred and directed.
Considered one of the worst films of his career, the movie hasn’t seen much light, as word has it Depp’s career might’ve came to a screeching halt and the end of Brando’s might’ve been pissed on. Instead we got Donnie Brasco and Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. Seems like a good deal.
Seven 2: Eight
In 2002, the screenwriter of Ocean’s 11 took a nonsense script about a clairvoyant doctor who supposedly helps a detective catch a serial killer and made it into a Se7en sequel with Morgan Freeman returning in the lead. David Fincher, who directed the original, said he’d rather have cigarettes put out in his eyes and do that script.
Whoops, wrong Napolean. Stanley Kubrick was long working on a full-feature biopic of Napolean Bonaparte, who Kubrick believed to be one of the most fascinating men to ever live. With a lot of work put in and little film to show for it, what is rumored to have potentially been one of the greatest movies never made is Kubrick’s movie the studios just couldn’t sign off on.
Whoops, wrong Michael Crichton. One of the few books not adapted from the Crichton library, reportedly because of the cost to make it and the heavy technical terminology compared to his other sci-fi works. Oh, but please, by all means, make another shitty dinosaur blockbuster that costs $187 million.