Header Photo: LEON NEAL/AFP (Getty) Cover Image @Home_Halfway (Twitter)
When a week ends, a collection of funniest tweets is born for your twisted Twitter-loving pleasure.
Give our top 20 tweets of the week a quick glance, enjoy a hearty laugh and then scurry off into your weekend, but first, remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. Their blood, sweat and tweets did not come easily, but again, neither did your weekend.
Tweet yourself to these, then follow us @Mandatory on Twitter.
They’re both looking forward to a lovely afternoon of interrupting each other. https://t.co/anEkT7z1fs
— Half An Onion (@HalfOnionInABag) October 9, 2018
gonna follow this nerd home and give them the wedgie of a lifetime pic.twitter.com/Z4XjLj9kRc
— Braaainnnsss Best (@verybestof_me) October 8, 2018
This is a terrible time to be named Brett Kavanagh
— Brett Kavanagh (@Brett_Kavanagh) October 6, 2018
Me: Why do I feel so tired today?
Me to me: Oh yeah, one of the strongest hurricanes in U.S. history made landfall this week, and a global consensus of the world’s best climate scientists said we need to totally remake civilization in the next 12 years or it might not continue
— Eric Holthaus (@EricHolthaus) October 12, 2018
It’s almost as if the climate… changed https://t.co/cp6XUYowAK
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) October 10, 2018
Thought it would be funny if Joan Didion worked at blink fitness pic.twitter.com/Uq1431cfEu
— Cole Escola (@ColeEscola) October 11, 2018
Shame, shame on me for once again polluting my beautiful, God-given brain with the offal that is your tweets
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) October 10, 2018
Why are you reading this instead of watching Sunny?
— Rob McElhenney (@RMcElhenney) September 20, 2018
Wowww. The Browns are really starting to like like a number 1 high school football team
— Kate Quigley (@KateQFunny) October 7, 2018
Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a slutty Al Borland and no other girls can say anything about it. pic.twitter.com/fGhTvxbg4C
— Kerry (@Kerry_Pro) October 12, 2018
when my friend asks me to help him move pic.twitter.com/Q1pX4X0RZn
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) October 12, 2018
Hes referring to those of you who sleep with socks on. https://t.co/Tim7IjLYy0
— Daniel (@MyFavsTrash) October 12, 2018
Has a parent, or any adult person, ever said “Chuck E. Cheese” without saying the word “fucking” first?
— John Ortved (@jortved) October 12, 2018
For Halloween this year I’m going as a sexy Apocalypse
— Very Spooky Michael (@Home_Halfway) October 10, 2018
Year-Round Shorts Guys, your time has officially come
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) October 12, 2018