Header Photo: LEON NEAL/AFP (Getty) Cover Image @BillyEichner (Twitter)
When a week ends, a collection of funniest tweets is born for your twisted Twitter-loving pleasure.
Give our top 20 tweets of the week a quick glance, enjoy a hearty laugh and then scurry off into your weekend, but first, remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. Their blood, sweat and tweets did not come easily, but again, neither did your weekend.
Tweet yourself to these, then follow us @Mandatory on Twitter.
IF YOU’RE 18 OR OVER AND YOU HAVE TIME TO DRESS UP FOR HALLOWEEN, YOU HAVE TIME TO VOTE.
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) October 28, 2018
anyone who replies to their own viral tweet with “follow me my tweets are funny” w/ screenshots absolutely has stolen every single one of their tweets
— Kellen (@captainkalvis) November 1, 2018
My favorite scene in Elf is when Jovie clearly realizes there’s a man singing along while she’s showering but she hits the last note of that creepy Baby It’s Cold Outside song anyway
— Asia (@AsiaDNYC) November 1, 2018
When I don’t order a cookie with my lunch order pic.twitter.com/DEf9STiBE0
— Michael VOTE VOTE VOTE (@Home_Halfway) November 1, 2018
the lyrics, “it’s raining men,” led me to believe it would also be evaporating men at some point and i can’t help but feel a little disappointed this hasn’t happened yet
— sarahdactyl (@girlnarly) October 30, 2018
No better metaphor for Twitter than being asked to ban hate and just banning Like https://t.co/PaB2gh9hSc
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) October 29, 2018
There should be one armed guard for every person, everywhere they go! We take turns, switching jobs with our guard every other day. Sundays we promise no one will leave their house
— Scott Aukerman (@ScottAukerman) October 28, 2018
I have to share my dog going bananas in the leaves so you can see at least one happy thing on here today. pic.twitter.com/mYTJUxzJTt
— Andrew O. (@TheOrvedahl) October 28, 2018
not sure where the designer was going with this pic.twitter.com/QhStRUSsD3
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) October 29, 2018
I like how Netflix has the “skip intro” option, but I never use it. I use the intro to check Twitter. Then I use the rest of the show to keep checking Twitter. Then I have to start the show over from the beginning.
— liv.-kats (@livlivme_do) October 18, 2018
[inventor of the bench]
“I wish this couch was outside and more uncomfortable”
— Headless horse, man (@HlessHman) October 26, 2018
Me in the 1st / Me in the 17th pic.twitter.com/RYxDOjlkOS
— Joseph Gordon-Levitt (@hitRECordJoe) October 27, 2018
They’re now thinking of moving “Wonder Woman 2” off of its new summer 2020 release date so that it doesn’t conflict with tonight’s game. #WorldSeries
— Josh Gad (@joshgad) October 27, 2018
By the way, I’m not some “fairweather fan.” I’ve been rooting for my #dodgers since the bottom of the 14th.
— Amir Blumenfeld (@jakeandamir) October 27, 2018
An alternate dimension where musical performers don’t exit the stage then return for an encore, but rather just continue playing until they’re booed off.
— batkaren (@batkaren) October 27, 2018