Header Photo: LEON NEAL/AFP (Getty)
When a week ends, a collection of funniest tweets is born for your twisted Twitter-loving pleasure.
Give our top 20 tweets of the week a quick glance, enjoy a hearty laugh and then scurry off into your weekend, but first, remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. Their blood, sweat and tweets did not come easily, but again, neither did your weekend.
Tweet yourself to these, then follow us on @Mandatory on Twitter.
This is insane. IT’S MEANT TO RECLINE. https://t.co/uJOUkt6fKi
— Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) September 22, 2018
I’m going to need a three-year nap once this week actually ends.
— Jamie O’Grady (@JamieOGrady) September 28, 2018
Jeff Flake is the John McCain of Ted Cruzes.
— Diane N. Sevenay (@Diane_7A) September 28, 2018
My homegirls lil sister weird I ain’t coming over any more pic.twitter.com/O2XRk32eaO
— (@NickTooSwaggy) September 27, 2018
Weird moment during this hearing when Lindsay Graham released a swarm of bees from his mouth. pic.twitter.com/2P2lgCqWNT
— Justin Halpern (@justin_halpern) September 27, 2018
Knife: Here’s a list of 65 vegetables I haven’t cut in half.
Me: Oh, well…in that case…
— Half An Onion (@HalfOnionInABag) September 27, 2018
Kavanaugh off to a bad start. pic.twitter.com/oKMjXfxHo3
— Ally Hord (@hordie) September 27, 2018
I don’t think I’m better than anyone but then again I haven’t used Facebook since 2011.
— Ally Maynard (@missmayn) September 28, 2018
Wow Kavanaugh, why so emotional? You on your period or something?
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) September 27, 2018
Thank you, genius friend, for writing this gem for me. https://t.co/g4d5unJrbU
— kaitlin olson (@KaitlinOlson) September 27, 2018
Bob Odenkirk with his head in his hands, groaning, “I’m gonna have to play this asshole someday, aren’t I.”
— April Wolfe (@AWolfeful) September 27, 2018
In high school I “was straight.” Things change, Brett. #KavanaughHearings
— Anthony Dominic (@alloveranthony) September 27, 2018
Me: just gonna sign into Netflix using the tv remote real quick.
ME: [with a full beard] and now for the password.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) September 27, 2018
Who did this? pic.twitter.com/739lbxU9ov
— Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) September 26, 2018
SON: [holding bong] What’s this?
ME: *sweating* Hahaha that’s a flower vase buddy.
SON: well I’m gonna use it to smoke weed
— Consider John Frazzled (@FrazzleMyGimp) September 26, 2018